Letters

Dearest Holly,

Though you have never met me, nor walked in my shoes, I did want to address some of the thinking patterns you've mentioned above. Space does not permit me to share my full testimony here, but suffice it to say that the God in Christ through the working of His Holy Spirit has allowed me see the blessedness of seeking my all in Him alone.

To start, I humbly suggest that your defense of medicinal drugs such as Zoloft and other antidepressants is nothing more than fierce denial of the inherent, wicked nature of sin and a rejection of Christ as your complete source of joy and comfort in ALL circumstances. I believe it boils down to the sin of unbelief, not depression.

I am very grieved to hear you say that "with Zoloft, I can cope", as if you needed something more than the King Himself Jesus Christ? "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things (including contentment and spiritual relief in the midst of circumstances)? Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Yet in all these things we are MORE than conquerors through HIM who loved us." (Romans 8:31-37) Do you see sister? We are not in bondage to sin any longer if indeed we are His, for by the power of the Holy Spirit we will put to death the deeds of the flesh. We have power only through HIM.

You are dead on when you state that "only the Lord can heal our wounds caused by circumstance". What a magnificent truth! Do not lose this precious nugget of God's truth! However, it seems as though this statement comes in word only not in power. WHO caused the circumstance in the first place? Is not our LORD sovereign over all things (for in Him, to Him, and through Him all things consist!). So when a circumstance is brought into our life, are we not to receive it as from the Lord with thanksgiving, knowing that His purposes are being accomplished through us? Aren't we placed in circumstances so that we get to know more of GOD? Isn't our sanctification worked out through those circumstances, no matter how "terrible"? He does not put on us more than we can bear. And He is ALWAYS an everpresent help in times of need.

Furthermore, I see very little difference between prescribed medications and illegal drugs. It seems the motivations of the heart are the same in both circumstances. There is a desire to flee current internal or external realities. Prescription antidepressants may not be as addicting as cocaine or heroine; yet the potential and risk of becoming dependent on prescribed antidepressants is lethal to your spiritual health.

To close, your last statement concerning the church "beating down those suffering from a real, treatable illness" is perplexing to me. Are we not supposed to FEEL the terrible weight of our sin? Yes, you may say, but not at the expense of my happiness and joy. That's just it dear sister. That is an incorrect view of the Scriptures and of God! :) The answer is NOT "Yea, and that's why doctors have created prescription drugs to treat these illnesses." The answer will and always will be "Come unto Me, all who are weak, weary, and heavy-laden and I will give you rest." It is CHRIST, CHRIST, CHRIST, CHRIST, CHRIST!!!!!

As a final word, I beg you to consider these words. Having read your post above, I realize that you avidly deplore the teachings of Mr. Jay Adams, and thus you might very well vomit after reading my post. But I beg you to consider the possibility that you may be wrong. I trust that if you are honest with yourself and honest with the Scriptures, you will find that these counselors have the best intentions by turning people to Christ not a pill bottle.

Respectfully,
Mallory



Dear Mallory,

I would like to address several points in your letter.

It is obvious that we disagree on what constitutes illness vs. what constitutes despairing in God. I’m sure that if I were a cancer patient, you would not have written “as if you needed something more than the King Himself Jesus Christ?” when I sought out medications/ radiation, etc. I am continually shocked that biblical counselors reject the notion that depression can have an organic cause.

Here’s just one example of an organic cause of depressive symptoms: recently, a friend told me that a couple of weeks ago, when she was entering her ninth week of pregnancy, she became seriously lethargic and depressed. She fought horrible thoughts and struggled to get out of bed and do the things she needed to do. A miserable week later, she kept an pre-scheduled appointment with her OBGYN. She told him of her overwhelming sadness. Concerned by her depression’s sudden onset, he sent out for blood tests. Sure enough, her thyroid was malfunctioning. The doctor prescribed her medication and almost immediately, she was back to her normal self.

My friend is a dedicated Christian. To suggest that her brief spell of depression was related to a specific sin is… ridiculous. It’s like suggesting that God smote her with a wacky thyroid problem because she engaged in a sinful behavior.

I could go to online medical journals and site various studies that indicate and often prove how different chemical imbalances affects one’s mood, but I doubt it would do any good. It’s not that I reject that sin is the cause of all ailments; the fall of mankind introduced both sin and death. It is as though we are walking in a polluted world; nothing we can do here on earth will stop us from being sick, wretched, sinful.

I might point out that Romans 8 means nothing without the promise of heaven. WE ARE CONQUERORS only because of that promise of a new life with a new sanctified body in heaven. That is not to say that we should not strive to be obedient to God, to immerse ourselves in His word, to feel the consequences of sin. But we all sin EVERY DAY. And God forgives us every day. To suggest that my depression is a result of my lack of faith in God is just false.

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matt 17:20

My faith was at least the size of a mustard seed. My depression was not abated. Therefore, I took my Christian doctor’s advice.

When I ended up in the psychiatric ward just three months after my child’s birth, the attending psychiatrist prescribed me an antidepressant.

I felt defeated. I felt like a failure. I felt lost.

It wasn’t until my Christian general practitioner assured me that my depression was a treatable illness that I began to look into the causes of depression.

Mental illness runs in my family. My great uncle committed suicide. My great aunt was probably schizophrenic. My grandmother suffered from severe depression, accompanied with manic episodes. This was just on my father’s side. My mother also suffers from depression.

I didn’t find most of this out until after I started searching for reasons why I am the way I am.

I do not believe God promised us a life full of happiness and joy. My depression was beyond just a lack of happiness and joy. I could not get suicidal thoughts out of my head. I looked at my baby boy, who I loved more than anyone, and I was ready to leave him and the world behind. Nothing tasted good. I could not sleep. I cried constantly. I downed a bottle of pills one evening after my husband took my son out for a walk.

Yes, I suffer from the “sin of unbelief.” Everything that does not come from faith is sin. Romans 14:22. I might suggest that WE ALL suffer from the “sin of unbelief.” Downing that bottle of pills was an act of selfish desperation from a wretched, sinful person in the throes of a physical ailment. It is no different than a person in excruciating physical pain, the worst kind, who gives up hope and takes their life out of God’s hands and into his own. Yet, even though I was a desperate wretch, God had mercy on me. He took me in his arms and comforted me. He forgave me.

I thank God he gave me what I needed to cope: a patient, understanding husband, a Christian doctor who prays with me every time I visit with him, a psychiatrist who gave me the correct prescription when I needed it most. (This is rare! Many people take time finding the right kind of antidepressant. It can take a year or more to get the right dosage and prescription.)

I was able to significantly lower my dosage after the PPD abated some. Since I have been suffering from depression since I was 15, I believe my doctor when he says I will probably need to remain on an antidepressant in order to stay healthy for the rest of my life.

You are right. I do not need anything more than the King Himself Jesus Christ. Thank you God for giving us the wisdom and curiosity to discover medications and antibiotics and therapies that can temporarily mend our broken bodies.

You honestly believe that I turn to a pill bottle instead of Jesus? I know that Jesus saved my life that day. He made sure I got the treatment I needed. He was and is an ever-present help in my times of need. You are completely mistaken when you say that I reject Christ as my source of joy and comfort in all things.

To address another misnomer: here is a huge difference between prescribed drugs and illegal drugs. SSRI’s are not “recreational” drugs. No one takes Zoloft to have fun. My medication is monitored by a doctor. I am fortunate in that I do not experience any side-effects. There is no “high” nor do I “feel” addicted (i.e. …, I am not constantly in search of my next “fix.”) In fact, I do not feel like I am on a drug at all. Often times, people who are on antidepressants mistakenly believe they don’t need them anymore because they just feel normal.

If done carefully, a person can wean off Zoloft without any negative withdrawal symptoms. Going off “cold turkey” can cause the shakes, headaches, anxiety, similar to someone who quits caffeine. Zoloft is actually less addictive than caffeine, a highly addictive drug.

Unlike heroin or cocaine, there are no long-term dangers of habitual use of antidepressants. Heroin is an opiate and cocaine is a stimulate; these drugs are not at all similar to SSRI’s.

As for the motivations of my heart: I was motivated to get well and be the best mother I knew how to be to my child. That was the motivation of my heart. The antidepressants do not cause me to escape into a happy oblivion. They do not mask feelings of guilt or sadness. I can assure you I feel the weight of my sin as much as someone not on antidepressants. I am not escaping any internal or external realities. My “thinking patterns” do not need modification. I do not deny nor do I embrace the inherent nature of sin.

I don’t dwell on it, either. I dwell on God’s mercy. I don’t believe that the beautiful verses written in Psalms about trusting in the Lord during times of sorrow were meant to be used to chastise and reprove. They were meant to encourage. To reassure. To remind.

Isaiah 53:4-6 ESV Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Mallory, my pill bottle and I get together for about five seconds every day. I spend my remaining moments doing my best to glorify Him in what I say and what I do.

In closing, I beg you to consider the possibility that you may be wrong. That are you wrongfully judging those who turn to medication to ease needless anguish. That there is just maybe a possibility depression is not always caused by a particular circumstance or sinful pattern of behavior, but by a treatable, organic condition that can be remedied with a physician’s assistance.

That taking an antidepressant and trusting in God can be mutually exclusive.

Respectfully,

Holly