Helping the Abused: Every Believer's Responsibility

What is Abuse?

Abuse- it can be used as a noun or a verb. This abuse must stop! (noun.) I really wish you would not abuse my cat in that fashion. (verb.)

Let’s start with the verb. To abuse means to treat something poorly, to misuse something, to treat something wrongly or improperly, to hurt or injure something through maltreatment. To corrupt something. To excessively hurt something.

Abuse is a broad term.

Abuse could be a one-time incident. For instance, I once abused a book of mine by using it as placemat. The book got stained and wet and was forever changed. I tried to fix it. I wiped off the mess, dried it out, and took loving care of it from then on. Unfortunately, the book was never quite the same.

Abuse is not always manifested physically. For instance, one can abuse a policy. Another book example: I have been know to abuse my library privileges by keeping books out much later than they are due back. I am always given a hefty fine. If I don’t change my ways, my library card privileges may be revoked.

Abuse can be subtle, wearing down something slowly over time. Abuse can be blatant, a sudden action with immediate impact.

Abuse in the Bible

Abuse is not a word found in the bible. However, God makes it very clear what is the proper way to treat one another and what is the wrong way to treat one another. He hates violence, wrath, and a cruel tongue.

Biblical counselors who don’t recognize and label abuse are essentially refusing to call a spade a spade, but rather, something more benign, like a serving spoon. The pastor at my former church would not label abusive behavior as “abuse” because he felt that “abuse” was a word one only used when one is ready to bring the police into the situation.

This is kind of ridiculous because the bible clearly reprimands those who use words to hurt others. In the following verse, a wicked mouth is a violent mouth, suggesting that hateful speech is as damaging as a violent, physical act.

"The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life: but violence covereth the mouth of the wicked." Proverbs 10:11

Abuse in a relationship can take on many forms: physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual. When someone is labeled as living in “an abusive relationship,” the term “abuse” is narrowed, and a qualifying word is added to it… that word is generally “systematic.” After all, if we stuck to the broad term, we would all be rampant abusers. Every time you say an unkind word or emotionally manipulate or even deceive someone is an instance of abuse.

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." Ephesians 4:29

Anyone who is in a relationship where they are beaten, emotionally, verbally, physically, again and again is an abusive relationship. Nowhere in the bible does it suggest that someone should be forced to remain in an abusive relationship.

Of course, in bible times, the weak (including slaves and women, who were pretty much slaves) did not have much of a choice when it came to making the choice to leave an abusive environment. After all, they were beholden to their masters by the law, financially, and of course, their children were not truly their own, but their masters’.

Times haven’t changed so much… many women stay with their abusive husbands for fear of money, for fear of losing their children, for fear of being looked down upon.

What strikes me is how often the bible implores believers to help the weak, to reach out to the oppressed.

Verses that Tell Us to Help the Oppressed

“Because of the oppression of the weak and the groaning of the needy, I will now arise, says the LORD, I will protect them from those who malign them.” Psalm 12:5

“Do not let the oppressed retreat in disgrace; may the poor and needy praise your name.” Psalm 74:21

"He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God." Proverbs 14:31

"Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." Proverbs 31:9

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?" Isaiah 58:6-7

"This is what the LORD says: Do what is just and right. Rescue from the hand of his oppressor the one who has been robbed. Do no wrong or violence to the alien, the fatherless or the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place." Jeremiah 22:3

"So I will come near to you for judgment. I will be quick to testify against sorcerers, adulterers and perjurers, against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive aliens of justice, but do not fear me,' says the LORD Almighty." Malachi 3:5

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because He has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed." Luke 4:18

“Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, upholds the weak, be patient with all.” 1 Thessalonians 5:14

“Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them; and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body.” Hebrews 13:3

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

"If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:17-18

AND FINALLY, in regards to the way husbands should treat their wives…

"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." 1 Peter 3:7

Note that the weak in these verses are almost always women and children. Note that so often, women are oppressed because of their lack of financial independence. Note that men and women are BOTH heirs together of the grace of life… that they are equally loved by God.

These are only a small sample of the Lord’s admonition to believers to bind ourselves to the oppressed. If there is abuse in the church, WE ARE TO INTERCEDE on the behalf of the weaker person, especially women and children. It could not be clearer.

I would submit that biblical counselors who tell women who are living in abusive situations to stay and just submit and pray are openly defying God’s instructions to believers. Release the oppressed, He said. Release them.

To those who call the spade a serving spoon, you are doing a huge disservice to the already oppressed.